After all the negative thoughts Kana thought this episode after the reporter confronted her, when she thought of letting everyone involved with B-Komachi down after losing the guy, her thoughts on what the haters and online mob would say, and finally at the spot where Aqua found solace in Kana while playing a game of catch, Kana decided that she wouldn’t be a damsel in distress who turns to a guy, namely Aqua, for help only when she needs it, and that she didn’t become an idol only for Aqua but as a means to stay in the industry, and it’s brilliant for depicting a character in the early stages of overcoming her trauma.
This is significant as for much of Kana’s life, she turned to her mother for validation, which isn’t wrong as everyone needs validation to some extent growing up to develop normally, but Kana’s mother emotionally abusing Kana due to her popularity declining with the end result being that she abandoned Kana led to her daughter developing a huge inferiority complex as well as having abandonment issues. This is why Kana deciding that she doesn’t need to be saved by Aqua is an important moment for her.
Growing up, Kana’s acting career likely wouldn’t have started without her mom’s approval, so as a child growing up, Kana counted on her mother for validation and saw her mother as being the one to allow her to shine. When this arrangement ended, it was obviously a huge blow to her self-esteem, which led to the issues she currently has, and that’s why she fell head over heals in love with Aqua since he basically set her up to shine the Sweet Today live-action adaptation by increasing the level of acting from Melt and bringing about a high enough level of acting for Kana to deliver high-caliber acting, and in that moment, Aqua in a way stepped into the role Kana’s mother was in as the one who’d give Kana the feeling of validation she needed as she perceived him to be the one who saw her true talent, not Kaburagi Masaya, who only used Kana’s name recognition as a draw to promote male models. People with trauma often gravitate to people who will reactivate their trauma, and given Aqua is an emotionally distant person, the odds of him doing something similar to what her mother did to Kana was possible, and Aqua himself was drawn to Kana in a sense ’cause his self-conscious was also trying to recreate a familar situation with Kana becoming an idol much like his mother was, so the dynamic Kana and Aqua had was in a way toxic even despite what they feel for the other, so I’m glad there’s a bit of decoupling here regardless of whether it lasts.
This is why Aqua ghosting Kana for a year led to Kana being in such a poor headspace since she had a strong irrational emotional attachment to him and could only see that Aqua must hate her given he told her to shut up and struck her, not being able to see Aqua’s distress since her internal image of Aqua was the one who’d validate her for her talent like her mother used to, and seeing him act that way reactivated all of her trauma, leading to her asking whether he hates her even if Aqua was in poor shape himself. It’s not ’cause Kana’s a bad person who’s incapable of seeing that Aqua was not well as she likely concluded he was unwell, and that’s why she got out of the vehicle, but when someone’s trauma is reactivated, their mind shuts down, which much of the time leads to them being unable to think about anything else aside from their trauma. I know this as someone who’s had trauma and ’cause I know someone who gets triggered so often by his trauma. Kana still has a fierce desire to stay in the industry after all this time even after living by herself all these years, and that’s why she was so easily fooled by Mako, who gave a tip to the reporter about Kana being at Shima’s place, which is how the reporter knew there was nobody else at Shima’s place aside from Kana, and it was ’cause she was so desperate at the time ’cause of her source of validation was gone.
As a disclaimer, I am in no way saying that Kana is over Aqua now as I’m sure we’ll find out, maybe even in the coming weeks, that she isn’t, but Kana deciding not to rely on Aqua in her time of despair shows that she’s in the beginning stages of overcoming her trauma. I had to include that since I’m sure some Kana haters or Akasaka haters might say that this pivotal scene had no bearing on Kana’s development as a character at all, and they’d be wrong of course. Kana deciding not to rely on Aqua at this moment is most definitely a sign of growth from Kana as to recover from trauma a big step is to focus on self-validation rather than relying on external validation. It’s so important that Kana decided that she very much chose to become an idol for herself to stay in the industry since her acting career was going nowhere, not ’cause she was merely doing it as a favour to Aqua, who she saw as her knight in shining armour. She’s shown that her surviving for years in the industry without her mom wasn’t a fluke and that she can survive without Aqua either even if it’ll hurt her if he’s not around. I was so happy for Kana in that moment and do believe she’ll truly make it in the industry even if it’s not until long after the series ends.
Akasaka’s doing a great job writing such a realistic character in Kana, and it shows a deep understanding of people who have trauma for him to have chosen to write Kana this way with all of the highs and the lows, and it shows that he probably knows at least one person in the industry who has had issues such as Kana’s or has read a lot of credible works informed on trauma that he was able to include a character in his story that could conceivably have come straight from the real world, and the higher-ups at Doga Kobo obviously also see Kana’s character as a compelling one, which is why Doga Kobo nailed all of her scenes with all the care that’s put into adapting Kana’s content. I’ll say it if nobody else has: Episode 30 of Oshi no Ko was absolute cinema as the way it displayed Kana’s mental processes throughout the episode before having her defiantly scream that she’d be all right is just peak anime content. This is how you write someone who’s getting put through the wringer but still decides to push through anyway. Kana was very courageous in the face of adversity.